Oli – Winter 2005

This old donkey really is on his last legs and will require a real thrashing if he's even to stand a chance at mediocrity. At 29 years old his seniority will be no advantage due to a late start in life for many of the events. Only previous experience is a race against 'The Cat' in pint downing - with limited success. As a newcomer he may have the element of surprise on his side, though he resolutely refuses to practice any of the tabled events. May eat a lot of beans beforehand and is least likely to play joker at snooker.

Most embarrassing sporting moment: Mistakenly swimming freestyle in a breast stroke race and celebrating when he thought he'd won by miles.

Chances: Limited