Latest summer result: Wooden spoon (2023) • Best summer result: 3rd (2013)

After a refusal from the 'Great Overweight One' to extend the puny 600m course to a far more manly 3,000m, The Boy is feeling slightly hard done by. Only when a truly independent organiser takes over will this really be a fair competition. After intensive work on the golf course, the first event may just be his best this year.
Chances: Stronger than you think (although Nick isn't competing this year, is he?)